Suzi Rawn tries to silence her inner critic
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She's got the voice and the look but Suzi Rawn seems to possess one more thing that makes her a true rock star in the making. Some call it perfectionism. Madonna and Coldplay's Chris Martin are famous for their quest for artistic excellence, but Rawn, who finished fourth on Canadian Idol, knows striving to achieve perfection can bring as much punishment as it does reward. "I think the competition really got to me in a huge way because I took myself too seriously. That's the one regret I have is not just relaxing and enjoying more. The more I tried to think about doing that the worse it got. It wasn't genuinely happening." Rawn says. "Honestly, I just take my career so seriously and it took away from my performance, I think, almost every single time that I went out there." She says she even tried too hard to take care of herself that it backfired on her. "I made sure I went to bed. I worked on my song this much. I took these vitamins. I was just overdoing it so it took away from just relaxing and just doing what I do," she says. Although the 23-year-old is unsure why she's been so hard on herself, she is trying hard to silence her nagging, inner critic. "It is disabling to me. That's one of the things I have to work on all the time," says Rawn, who admits being unhappy about her performances during Elvis Presley night. However, the apprentice rock star discovered valuable lessons as she advanced through the fast-paced, high-pressure competition. For instance, she learned how to deal with her personal struggles in public. "I've learned about that, where it's taken me and what I have to do to fix it," she says. "I've gotten to know myself in a way I never probably would've and that can only work to your benefit." Rawn's experience, while full of challenges, has also proven rewarding. In just a short amount of time, the unknown musician has become an idol to countless fans; some so young they stumble over the words as they excitedly scream, "Suzi rocks." Becoming a role model, almost overnight, is a perk she cherishes. "I feel absolutely honoured with a status like that," she says. "I'm speechless when people say that because I just feel so honoured to be here and for people to see me that way, it's really surreal. I'm really grateful." Even idols, however, have their heroes. While Rawn admires musicians like Gwen Stefani and Janis Joplin, she draws strength and inspiration from Jolie, her two-year-old child. "She's my reason for living," says the mom, who admits time away from her daughter was the toughest part of Canadian Idol. With the competition now over, Rawn can't wait to get back to her life in Kamloops, B.C., which includes taking care of Jolie and fronting her band King Size Suzi. She says they'll be looking into touring, recording, writing and, perhaps, distributing their CD nationally. Rawn sounds optimistic. "All those things will be discussed, man. It's going to keep plowing." So what does she think about being eliminated on her birthday? She says she's unsure if the coincidence has any symbolic meaning. However, making it to the Top 4 may hold some significance. "That's my lucky number," she says. "I don't know. Maybe it's a symbol of some kind of good luck that's ahead." Eye on Idol |




