Ashley Leitao said her goodbyes, cried her tears and packed her bags the night before she found out she'd been eliminated from Canadian Idol. But in spite of all her readiness and anticipation, nothing, it seems, prepared Leitao for the overwhelming rush of emotion she experienced on that woeful Wednesday.

"I thought I prepared myself mentally and I think I did," she tells Eye on Idol. "But, the shock and the whole emotion that was happening on stage wasn't so much about the elimination process."

Leitao says it was her body's unexpected reaction to the evening's tense and drawn-out revelation that gave her cause for concern.

"I've never hyperventilated in my life and to have that happen to me on stage in front of the whole entire country and in front of everyone live was really scary for me because I couldn't control my breath," says the 18-year-old who worried she would pass out.

While her body almost let her down, Leitao's mind, however, was focused. The spiritually-devout singer found a moment amid the music, lights and the audience and crew chatter to say a few words of prayer.

"I looked up to the sky and held my cross in my hand and I just said to God, 'If it's meant to be, it's meant to be.' You know, if there's something better out there for me then let it happen."

Surrendering to the outcome, she says, was made easier with the help of her mother, whom she spoke with after the Stevie Wonder themed show. Leitao says her mom's reassurance and pride in how far she's progressed in the competition gave her the strength to face the inevitable.

As for the support she needed and found while on stage during results night, Leitao is emphatic.

"Thank God for Melissa [O'Neil] being at my side because if it wasn't for her I don't think I would stand on that thing," she says. "I would have probably not even survived that whole entire show. So she's definitely a friend that's always been there for me."

As Idols go through the sharp emotional turns of the competition, they form a bond that -- with each passing week -- only seems to get tighter and, therefore, harder from which to break away.

For Leitao it's been the most awful part of Canadian Idol.

"The worst experience is obviously Wednesdays. The results shows are pretty bad," she says. "Whether you're the person leaving or whether you're the person that's staying and watching the person leave, you know, it's hard."

"You want to see everyone succeed but, unfortunately, there is only one Idol and that's the reality of it all."

Though she admits enjoying every moment is always easier said than done, Leitao cherishes the growth and newfound perspective on life and music that are borne out of her Idol experience.

"When you look at it all, I'm proud of how I dealt with things and I wouldn't change anything," she says. "It's all good, baby, it's all good."

Eye on Idol