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Allan Hubley speaks to CTV News about the role bullying and depression played in his 15-year-old son's suicide on Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2011. Gay teen suicide Ottawa Ottawa councillor Allan Hubley lost his son James to suicide on Oct. 14, 2011. Allan Hubley speaks to CTV News about the role bullying and depression played in his 15-year-old son's suicide on Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2011.

Gay teen was bullied before suicide, says father

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CTV News Video

CTV National News: Family speaks on son's suicide
A father in anguish speaks about the death of his son and the troubles he faced for being openly gay. CTV's Daniele Hamamjan with more on the father.
CTV Ottawa: Grieving dad speaks out on bullying
The father of an Ottawa teen who committed suicide last week opens up to Graham Richardson about the role bullying played in his gay son's death.
Extended: Father opens up about son's suicide
In this one-on-one interview with Graham Richardson, an emotional Allan Hubley opens up about the role bullying and depression played in his 15-year-old son's suicide.
Extended: Father shares his message to bullies
In this one-on-one interview with Graham Richardson, an emotional Allan Hubley reveals what his message is to the bullies who he feels are partly responsible for his 15-year-old son's suicide.
Extended: Father talks about his son's struggle
In this one-on-one interview with Graham Richardson, Allan Hubley says that he won't deny that depression played a huge part in his 15-year-old son's suicide. Hubley says he did whatever he could to make it easier for his son and his struggles of being openly gay.
CTV News Channel: Remembering Jamie Hubley
CTV News correspondent Graham Richardson spoke to Ottawa city councillor Allan Hubley who says it would mean a lot to his dead son to help kids that are bullied.
CTV News Channel: Signs of bullying
Alyson Schafer, a parenting expert says the signs parents should look for to see if their children are being bullied are trouble sleeping, disinterest in activities they used to enjoy, and bruises on their bodies.
CTV National News: Father pleads to end bullying
An Ottawa city councillor has issued a heartbreaking plea against bullying after his gay son committed suicide. Daniele Hamamdjian reports.

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Allan Hubley speaks to CTV News about the role bullying and depression played in his 15-year-old son's suicide on Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2011. Gay teen suicide Ottawa Ottawa councillor Allan Hubley lost his son James to suicide on Oct. 14, 2011. Allan Hubley speaks to CTV News about the role bullying and depression played in his 15-year-old son's suicide on Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2011.

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Allan Hubley speaks to CTV News about the role bullying and depression played in his 15-year-old son's suicide on Tuesday, Oct. 18, 2011.

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Date: Tue. Oct. 18 2011 7:09 PM ET

An Ottawa city councillor says his gay teenaged son suffered years of bullying at school before he left his final thoughts on a blog post and committed suicide.

Jamie Hubley killed himself Friday after battling depression and harassment about being openly gay. He was 15.

His father, Allan Hubley, city councillor for Kanata-South, spoke to CTV Ottawa on Tuesday and detailed some of the hardships his son faced.

At one point three years ago, he said Jamie was assaulted on a school bus.

"Some kids held him down. They put three of those little flashlight batteries down his throat," a teary Allan Hubley recalled. "They were attempting, if not to kill him, to injure him."

The death of the Ottawa teen is once again focusing attention on the issues of homophobia, youth depression and school bullying.

Before he died, Hubley posted a farewell to his family and friends on his Tumblr feed, which he had dubbed "You can't break… when you're already broken." He wrote that his personal pain was too much for him to bear and he didn't want to suffer any longer.

"Im tired of life really. Its so hard, Im sorry, I cant take it anymore," he wrote. "...Being sad is sad… I'v been like this for way to long."

In a post from three weeks ago, Hubley wrote that he hated feeling like he was the only openly gay student in his school, A.Y. Jackson Secondary School in Kanata.

He also said the medications he was taking weren't working, nor was the psychological therapy.

His father said Hubley had ambitions, including as a talented figure skater. But he quit sport after being mocked for not playing hockey.

Hubley also had some support at school, particular from a guidance counselor, as well as from family and friends.

But the taunting continued. Some students called him names, like "fag," Allan Hubley said. "And he found that harmful."

Each year in Canada about 500 teenagers die from suicide.

The Hubley family is the second prominent family in Ottawa in the last year to lose a teen to suicide. Last November, 14-year-old Daron Richardson, daughter of Ottawa Senators assistant coach Luke Richardson, also killed herself after battling depression.

In the case of Jamie Hubley, his father hopes that talking about his death may do some good.

"He had dreams and we want to help those dreams come true. So if by sharing our pain that'll happen, then it's good," he said. "Our boy won't be gone in vain."

Hubley's family is asking anyone who wishes to make a donation to direct it to the Youth Mental Health Walk-in Clinic, where the teen had sought help.

With a report from CTV Ottawa's Graham Richardson

Comments are now closed for this story

Cheryl
said

I cried so hard for this father, its true no matter what you do to protect your children from bullying, they get to them anyway, because you can't always be there beside them. As a parent of three teenage daughters I went thru these suicide scares with my teens, they have an incredible amount of stuff coming at them in terms of social media and it confuses and scares them. You son was of the rainbow children, the ones who will changes this world and create more love and caring within it.


Ken
said

So sorry for the family's lost. I am gay, was bullied from grade school right through to college. During my first year of college I lived alone. Used to walk around the apartment and sleep with a knife. It was a dark time. I'm glad I never decided to use it on myself. Believe it or not ... it does get better.


G.B
said

I am very sorry for your loss. It hurts to hear of what he went through. There really are no words................. :(


David in Calgary, AB
said

I watched the above interview clips and I cried. I feel so sorry for this loving, caring and truly admirable father and his family. I can understand a lot of what Jamie's father had to say about depression and the effects it had on his son because when I was 15 I knew I was gay. Given the high school sports that I played, my conservative family and the small community I lived in, I knew that I would not dare come out so I waited till I moved away on my own for university at the age of 18. I remember the ages of 14-18 being complete hell for me and it shouldn't be like that for any kid out there struggling with their own sexuality because they are who they are and IT'S NOT A CHOICE. Not only is it 2011 and not 1951, but we live in Canada for god sakes where we are a diversity accepting country! This really needs to be taught more in the public school systems.To the bully(s), ringleaders out there who tormented Jamie for years only for Jamie being who he was, shame on you and because of you, we have lost what sounds to be a very special and wonderful young person :( I am a huge believer in karma :)Thank you Mr. Hubley for having the strength and courage to share Jamie's story, it sounds like Jamie is going to be missed by many people however, clearly will never be forgetten :) You have my deepest sympathies during this very difficult time...


Ben
said

Hearing about these sort of things make me truly angry. Regardless of where you sit regarding homosexuality (I so happen to believe it is an act, not something that you are born with). I wasn't Mr. Popular in school myself, but I also had a good core of friends that made it far easier to go to school day after day. I can only imagine what this boy was going through. Those who bully must receive guidance and direction from those closest to them, parents, friends, teachers etc, and we have absolutely got to stop turning a blind eye to it. How many times must this happen?


laurie thompson
said

i am so very sorry for your loss. please know that my heart is with you. we have seen what bullies can do and it does have to stop. experienced it close to home. please keep the faith.


BrianfromSurrey
said

I'm sorry for the child and his family. Bullying has become far worse than when I went to school and it doesn't matter if you're male or female. I do have one small gripe about this story and the others that follow in the same vein. I don't think for one minute that these other kids are afraid of the homosexual child, they would have bullied him even if he wasn't homosexual. I think that the media should learn what a phobia is before they continue to use it for every homosexual story that comes along. Definition of PHOBIA: an exaggerated usually inexplicable and illogical fear of a particular object, class of objects, or situation


MaxinBC
said

Tragic and unfortunately not shocking considering the reaction many parents have to our education system trying to teach about different, non-traditional families and that not everyone fits into a heterosexual mold. The seeds of hate sown in a bully start with the parents. Parents have to hold up a mirror and exam why they think it is bad to teach kids that we are NOT all the same. I point you all towards the venom under the quise of "free speech" in the comments for article about the pamphlets some Sask MP was using to stir up just the type of hate that contributed to this young man's death.


Barbara
said

I was a teenager in high school in the sixties ... Yeah, I am an old broad now. Back then I was the one being teased, taunted, and yes, bullied. Life was pretty miserable. I ended up being a drop out, going from top of the class to failure. I caught up later on my own, But I was bullied for being fat. In those days anything different, a square, wearing glasses, dressing differently, not drinking at a party (rarely invited to parties actually), and such things as being too tall, too short, too skinny, too fat ... it was all ammunition for the bullies. And in those days there was not really recourse to suicide. It wasn't part of the language we used. Of course we were not diagnosed as depressed either, and there was no great effort to counsel and no medication. You stuck it out. You ran or hid if you could. For me that was quitting school. But suicide? I think our world, and our lives, have become so "death" oriented in so many ways that it has become a recognized, almost expected, way out. Because that is so, and with this young boy being so bullied, there should have been more help for him. My sympathy and condolences to the family. What more can be said.


Kat
said

More needs to be done about bullying whatever the case. Its really terrible that this young man felt that taking his life was the only way out for him. Bullying is more recognized as being dangerous to the victim not just physically in some cases but mentall can be even more dangerous. But a lot more needs to be done to bullies for their actions My condolences and thought are with the family. I am so sorry for your loss.


Jenna J.
said

To Concerned... Bullies already know it's wrong. They don't need education, they need a large boot in the pants. According to an article from Psychology Today, bullies have high self-esteem, think they are better than others, and enjoy picking on weaker people because it makes them feel tough and powerful. I think they need to face harsh consequences so they learn their behaviour is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. Catering to them only makes it worse.


Mark J.
said

Picking on others is nothing but a huge sign of immaturity. Extreme childishness. Grow up fools.


Tasha
said

This has become a serious pandemic and I believe that we, of course, have to take more rigorous action against bullying, but we also need to provide more support for victims. I know youth who have suffered from depression and their options have mainly been either medication or solutions such as cognitive behavioral therapy, but the problem is that many of these are NOT covered by the government, which I find to be a gap in our heath care system. Right now we must concentrate more and more on mental health among youth and find preventative solutions for the future.


Shardajo
said

I can't imagine the sorrow that Jamie's family is going through; my sincerest condolences to the family who have gone to lengths to support and get help for their hurting son. My heartfelt prayers for healing and recovery to this family as they work through this significant loss.All people (bullying is not just a high school act) need to be held accountable and make restitution for pain they cause others. No one is holding these individuals responsible when the small acts start; they escalate into atrocity. Whether the motivator is abuse or the addiction to a power-feeling, the bully needs to be conscious of the effects they have on others. This recognition can be helpful for the bully as well; it is a healthier way to live and mature. I wish the family the greatest healing to lessen the upcoming years of grief.


anonymous
said

my son was bullied in grade 6 he stopped going to school and he was depressed and anxious, wanted to die. this sensitive, gifted child was labelled with the problem . the bullies were not dealt with by their parents or the school, of course they had learning isssues and ADD. the pain and suffering was horrible. therapy helped, but there are still scars. my son is 23 and doing well- this experience changed him forever. my heart goes out to the family.


Stan W. Fisher
said

I wept when I read the article about this young boys decision to leave the earth because he didn't feel welcome. I also thought about the poor misguided souls that bullied him, and believe me, they know who they are and what they have done. To kill someone spiritually is tantamount to killing then physically and believe me, the poor losers who are responsibl for this will be haunted for the rest of their days on earth. And that is as it should be!


Terri
said

I am so proud of Allan for being so brave and helping us try to understand.


it88man
said

I can only hope that the cowards who tormented this poor kid get singled out for their actions and live with a cloud of shame over their heads forever. I'm truly Sorry for your loss.

outraged
said

it is truly sad when one of us feels so beaten down and alone that we have to take our own lives. my thoughts and prayers go out to the family..now i would like to say something about our school system. a majority of the physical and mental abuse we suffer as homosexual teens comes from our peers/classmates. at school the problems can be brought to the teacher/princibl s attention but in most cases all they get is a slap on the wrist. hell if some one attacks you out side of a insitute such as a school they almost never get charged with hate crime... all they have to say it " o really i didnt know they where gay" and they have a hard time making hate crime charges stick.. i am sorry but it truly sickens me how little support or protection we truly have


Concerned, too
said

There is a need for education on bullying in the schools as well as at home. If only children and teens were made aware of how wrong bullying is, and how harmful it can be--enough to drive a person to suicide. And even the bullied who do not end up committing suicide, bear a scar for the rest of their lives.


Robert in Lakefield
said

Those who bully are generally victims of some sort of abuse themselves, whether it's poor parenting, lack of role models, or misinformation in the way they were educated by family or peers. This of course doesn't make it right by any means, but it has been a fact for hundreds of years. Only now are we able to comprehend the true damage of these actions, and only now can we act on ways to eradicate it. It's everyone's responsibility. This is a sad story that is shared by many, including myself, except that I, like many of my friends, overcame the taunts, the societal damage, and was able to discover that yes indeed, it does get better. To those who are responsible for this young man's death, I wish for them a life free of what they have caused. I wish for them each the opportunity to reflect, accept responsibility, and make the changes they need to make in their lives. It's all anyone can ask. The price that has been paid is the ultimate price, and with James' death, we have all lost.


Hannah Logan
said

What a devastating loss. Something needs to change for kids long before it comes to this. Perhaps if virtues and character building were integrated into a child's early education and maintained throughout school. Imagine the possibilities. To allow each child to receive the same tools to practice using when dealing with their peers. If started early, it could drastically change the way children (and eventually adults) interact. Regardless, these issues need to be talked about and solutions need to be worked out - we owe it to Jamie, his family, and so many others who have suffered in the same way.


Prusoth Baskaran
said

This is a story I can relate to. I am proud to be gay. At one point of life I was serious about suicide due to people bullying about my sexual orientation. I learned that once you find the right group of friends you can relate to, the world doesn't seem such a bad place.


Christina
said

Our Deepest Sympathy. God Bless!


island girl
said

It's too bad this is considered mainly a Gay issue, when in fact, bullying goes on relentlessly for just about any excuse imaginable.....Too smart, too dumb, too fat, too pretty, too clumsy, too talented...you name it. Bullying needs to be treated collectively and dealt with severely.


Bart
said

We are so sorry for your loss and we fully understand the pain that your family is experiencing because we lost our daughter to suicide four years ago. She too was bullied in school which affected her self esteem and as a result suffered from depression. Like you, as parents, we did everything we could to seek out the help she needed. Medical care for mental health is sorely lacking in providing the care needed to address this issue and the number of deaths to suicide is epidemic. In our opinion, drugs for depression are too readily prescribed without adequate monitoring and adequate counseling. It is time for our society to recognize this issue and put resources to the resolution before we lose more of our children who have so much to offer this world.


Gundula Baehre
said

This is so disgusting, and I feel so sorry for the parents. Honestly, something needs to be done about bullying at school. Not only should and must the bullies be held responsible and face the most dire consequences, I also think that the parents of said bullies and teachers etc. who might have known about this should be facing very very serious legal consequences. For let's face it, while children might be cruel, bullying behaviour is often learned behaviour.


Gaunilon
said

Our sympathy and prayers for this young man and his family.- a Christian


alex
said

if you dont like a certain life style stay away form them. why go and make another persons life miserable. you the bully have a worthless life. and are not welcome. what will you do when the day comes your child comes home and says im being bullied at school. will you stop and think what you did when you went to school, how miserable you made some poor kid half your size. think about it and pass it on to some one who does care


Will
said

Suicide is never a good choice it makes matters worse not better. What is really missing in the conversation on the subject is truth which is usually thrown under the bus in the name of political correctness which is why people are left wanting for answers. There are answers but only when we begin to deal with the truth.


Y K of Montreal
said

Why does this type of hateful behaviour continue to be perpetuated? These 'kids' need to be held accountable. Parents and educators need to understand that this type of behaviour doesn't go away on its own and is truly harmful, to the point that an innocent boy needed to take his own life.


Cambob in Toronto
said

I want so desperately to blame someone. The teachers. The bus driver. The bullies. Young men are at the mercy of thier own biology. Call it Alpha male or pack mentality, but any sign of weakness is attacked, sometimes brutally and fatally. Some will hate me now, but in the end, this boy took his own life. It's tragic, but it was his choice. Jamie Hubley died by his own hand. I do not condone the aggression of the bullies. I do not accept the apathy of the adults in his life. But sadly, the only one to blame for the death of Jamie, is Jamie.


DS
said

My goodness, what an awful story! 40 years ago, I was teased and bullied at school as well, for being a "square," not smoking and always being the odd guy out, but nothing like this. Words fail me that somehow, somewhere and under some circumstances, this needless and tragic death could have been prevented. I will look up at the stars tonight and say a special prayer for this poor young man and his family.


Dan
said

My sympathies to this man and his family. So much more needs to be done against bullying. I was bullied and it ruined my school life and resulted in me dropping out.


RG
said

I made the effort to read Jamie's entire tumblr blog.Very disturbing.This young man suffered deeply from depression and lack of self worth .He was for a very long time a "cutter" inflicting non stop self mutilation.Deeply disturbed.The focus should not be on the bullying but rather on the fact he desperately tried to seek help from the medical and social communities and was unable to get any effective treatment or help.Yes the bullying was a factor but so was our entire culture's way of viewing an openly gay minor in this day and age.As a father I was shocked at the contents of the blog and deeply saddened at the final posting and final outcome.My heart goes out to his family.


Disgusted
said

The schools are a breeding ground for bullying and despite all the talk and waste of money by so-called educators, the system achieves nothing and by complacency encourages its growth.


Cameron in Deux-Montagnes
said

Once again a sad situation resulting from bullying; my condolences to family and friends of Jamie Hubley. As a society, we have to start examining the reasonings so many feel the need to take their own lives and not feel comfortable with the assistance currently available. On a personal note, as a teacher I have directly experienced the grief of having two students commit suicide and another who was beaten by his father to the point of being hospitalized and the father charged. The glorification of the so-called Ultimate Fighters and the gang mentalities so prevalent amongst youth today are having a direct affect on many young people and unfortunately, not in a positive way.


PDMinVIC
said

I watched Anderson Cooper's show on the weekend about bullying. There was actual video footage of a 13 year old gay boy being beaten on a school bus.There was also video of a school principal telling a gay boy he had to accept the apology of someone who had hit him - it was his fault making the situation worse by not being a gentleman!In this case the Ottawa School Board claims he was not bullied.Any gay or lesbian person who gave the slightest inclination in school about being gay can testify they were bullied at some point during elementary, junior or senior high. It was dreadful for me. Even though I participated in many activities and received honours and prizes I was always an outsider. Even in university. It is horrific. No one would tolerate black people being called names that were prevalent in the 60's, nor would they tolerate jewish children being the victims of hate crimes. It seems gay children and youth are open game. It is going to take laws by politicians, firm and unbending policies by school boards and ongoing pressure from parents that this must stop. You cannot have chldren killing themselves about being gay and self esteem. At least give them a chance.It is so hard to hear the words there is hope and things will get better. That doesn't really help. Action is what will help.


Hoppy
said

I worked in a high school as a custodian for 20 years. Nothing surprises me when I hear this stuff. I feel so sorry for this boys family & friends. This should have never happened.


JPC in Sask
said

My step son was bullied once...just once...


Dave
said

The pain I see in this mans face brings me to tears also, I feel such sorrow for this family and I hope they take comfort in the fact that their son is in a truly better place now.


Stopbullying Now!
said

This is so tragic. In this day and age we are very focused on bullying and yet it is still a very major problem. No one should be a target or worse still a victim of this form of degrading behaviour. Bullying can only be stopped by holding individuals accountable. Lady Gaga had it right when she called it a hate crime. Apologies do not count for anything the behaiour must be changed. In this story it is too late and another individual and family falls victim to abuse. Bullying is not about power but the idea of enjoying seeing someone in pain. Don't you think it is time to change the world?


Outraged
said

I am a school bus driver. Are you kidding me !! Where was the driver when this was happening to this young man !! I take seriously the protection of the children on my bus and make sure that everyone feels safe when they ride with me, including from the other students on the bus with them. I'm so sorry to hear of the decision this boy felt he had to make. My heartfelt condolences to the family.


MARG MM
said

It's so sad that in this day and age kids are being taunted for being gay. Parents need to sit down with their teenagers, and even younger and teach them tolerance. Too many teens are commiting suicide because of bullying. No one chooses to be gay, but those that are, are faced with a lack of understanding by some of their peers. Condolences to Jaime's family and hopefully people will learn just how serious bullying can be.


JB in Ontario
said

Sympathy to the family of this bullied young teen.


Judy
said

so sorry to hear that this young man killed himself because of bullying by people who should have been in friends and helped him instead of picking on him.....when will kid learn being gay isn't something you can catch you a usually born that way....I hope everyone that knew him are feeling bad to know that they pushed him that far. My sympathy goes out to his family.


Concerned
said

And once again its the bullies who get away with this! As a society we need to step up to protect our young people from the bullies. The punishments in schools need to be greater in order for the school system to deal with bullying. As the government needs to update their young offenders act so these young offenders can be made accountable. Stop telling our kids to just ignore these people...lets do something about them!


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