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'Tiger Mom' daughter speaks out through her own blog

Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, daughter of the Tiger Mother, is seen in this undated image taken from her blog. Amy Chua, the John Duff Jr. professor of Law at Yale Law School, is seen in this image courtesy Random House. Amy Chua, the John Duff Jr. professor of Law at Yale Law School, is seen in this image courtesy Random House.
Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld, daughter of the Tiger Mother, is seen in this undated image taken from her blog.

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Date: Friday Apr. 22, 2011 9:03 PM ET

The oldest daughter of now-notorious "Tiger Mom" Amy Chua, has started her own blog to set the record straight about what life is really like in a household where she was sometimes called "garbage" by her mother as a means to motivate her.

In her blog, cheekily entitled "New Tiger in Town," Sophia Chua-Rubenfeld reveals a sharp wit as she muses about the things that occupy the minds of many 18-year-olds on the cusp of adulthood: what university to attend, what to major in, and how to deal with an embarrassing mom.

Of course, in Chua-Rubenfeld's case, her university-decision dilemma comes down to Yale or Harvard. (She's already withdrawn her application to the less-prestigious University of Virginia)

And when it comes to moms, Chua-Rubenfeld's got herself a doozy: a mother who has earned thousands of angry haters -- and a number of quiet fans – for writing a sort of how-to guide for ultra-strict parenting, called "Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother."

In the book, Amy Chua, a law professor at Yale, related how she raised Sophia and her sister Lulu, now 18 and 14, using the ultra-strict Chinese child-rearing model she grew up with.

That meant schoolwork always came first, no school grade below an A was worthy, and that the only extracurricular activities that children should ever engage in are those in which they can win a medal. Oh, and that medal better be gold.

The self-described "tiger cub"'s blog has been up for only three weeks, and so far, she hasn't revealed much about how she feels about her mother's parenting choices.

But Chua-Rubenfeld does suggest her mother can act a little strange in Chinese food restaurants, telling the waiter to "wrap up the remains of EVERY dish, even if it's just a puddle of oil."

Tiger Mom Amy will say, "We can't let them think we're wasteful, or NEXT TIME, THEY'LL GYP US!" according to her cub.

Chua-Rubenfeld also uses the blog to field answers to some of the most common questions she's gotten since her mom's book came out, such as: If your mother prevented you from going on play dates, sleepovers and participating in school dramas, shouldn't you have turned out to be socially incapable?

"Thanks for asking," she replies and then explains that "when you spend 7 hours at school a day, 180 days a year, for 13 years, you rack up 16,380 hours of social interaction. That's the equivalent of over 3,200 five-hour playdates. So overall, I don't feel too deprived."

And she insists that her mother's book was no joke:  "It’s despicable to suggest her book is satirical, and I’m deeply traumatized. If you lay awake every night weeping over the charred remains of your stuffed animals, you’d be traumatized too. [edit: for the love of god, people, I'M KIDDING.]"

Comments are now closed for this story

Cheryl in Ottawa
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I could just not treat my children the way "Tiger Mom" did. And "Tiger Cub" may not realize it now but she will probably have emotional/mental issues down the road.


JS
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Maybe more parents should be like Tiger Mom, then we would not need to build more prisons to hold more criminals. So many parents these days don't care about their kids or what they do. So many young offenders are committing adult crimes, and afterwards graduating to the actual adult crimes.


Sinikle Sam
said
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Or.........It could be all about selling more books !


Anne
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Expecting nothing but the best your children can give - wow what a concept. Instead of praising children for half-harted efforts like many in North America do and giving awards and medals for just mere participation, thus woman set firm expectations and her children excelled to meet them.This is successful parenting, perhaps some of you "but my child is my friend" parents should give it a go. Your children are bound to develop into much more successful and happy adults than they would otherwise.


Peter
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For Sophia's future children sake, I hope she does not pass on your childhood exprience to them.


the gypsy
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Tiger Mom: Your daughter states that you would use the word "gyp". Great role model and great racist. This story is more sad than anything else. To think that taking advice from Tiger Mom's Chinese model of raising children is useful is hilarious. China's record on human rights and the belief in the insignificance of the individual goes back 5000 years and is worse than any other society on earth. Why would anyone think that this is good advice?


kac
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China is winning the economic war not because of the way they parent, but because the west took away tariffs that made it easier for the Chinese state to export more goods at the expense of our industries. Its called global economics and its a economic system that hurts developed nations. I think that is quite clear when you look at the debt to GDP of developed countries compared to those that are developing, like China. My parents gave me the education to figure that out, but they also allowed me to develop good social skills.


just me
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LIfe is very short. Is it really worth it in the end to drive so hard? I got straight A's in school when A's actually meant something.....but I wish now I had taken things a bit easier. No one cares 20 years down the road that you won an academic medal.....


Tom [Kingston]
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Canuck, there are many variables that are leading to young adults in they thirties living with they parents and I believe very little has to deal with what you state. Strict behaviour, education, manners are all norms of a given society. Its simply not an East and West issue, some people pride themselves on certain criteria for they young to live by and follow in they footsteps, nothing more. No one can state one method of child rearing is right compared to the other, as long as no laws are broken and the last time I check being stern with ones child is not prohibited by law. Physical and mental abuse is another thing.


Tom [Kingston]
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"Terry S. said: ANYTHING in the extreme can be harmful."Terry it all depends on the norms of a given culture and place. What might seem as extreme to you, might be the norm in another location. Likewise what might seem norm to you, might come across as extreme else where. Generalization is the demon of society. No one is forcing to approve or raise your children to these cultural norms. You can do as you please, in the end its your child's future and how the steps you have taken to address any forthcoming challenges.


Canuck
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In regards to the comment that China is winning the economic war, does anyone else remember 30 years ago of the stories about the strict Japanese upbringing culture and education system and how it allowed them to win the technology war. Decades later we see a society failing on many basic fronts. As always their young are punished, spoiled and rewarded to perform but they have extended the childhood period of their young to their early thirties and their accomplishments lack the innovation and creativity that will drive the society forward.. I have no doubt there are many individual success stories but the majority never accomplish anything close.


Terry S.
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ANYTHING in the extreme can be harmful.


Tom [Kingston]
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No physical abuse. Mental abuse borderline, maybe. I see no problem with raising you child to excel, its a parents duty to see fit the rearing of they child as long as its not breaking any laws of the land.This story and book is all sensationalized a view and mentality that is nothing new that is been followed for ions in the Far East and to some extent in Europe.Nothing to see here.


Joe Spumolio
said
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Obviously this woman is successful and knows what it takes to be so. Kudos to her and her progeny. This concept is far removed from Western culture where self indulgence is paramount. China is winning the economic war for a reason and it's not too, too hard to find that reason.


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