HALIFAX — Speed dating - that's how Prime Minister Stephen Harper's director of communications is characterizing the media's shaky new relationship with the Conservative government.

"We really haven't figured everybody out yet, but we're starting to get a good idea of what we like and what we don't like," Sandra Buckler told the Canadian Association of Journalists on Sunday.

Buckler was participating in a panel discussion featuring three journalists and a former communications director to Jean Chretien.

Buckler's analogy - likening the Tory relationship with the media to a brief, first date with a stranger - was in response to criticism that the government has tried to shut out journalists as they try to cover federal politics.

Reporters have complained that their calls are not returned, that they receive copies of speeches days after they were delivered, and that media availability is too selective.

"Stephen Harper is running a more focused, a disciplined government than prime minister (Jean) Chretien, and certainly more so than prime minister (Paul) Martin," said Buckler in a sometimes confrontational discussion.

"When we have something to say, Canadians are going to hear it, and they can take it to the bank."

She said changes in communication strategy should be expected with a new government elected on a platform of change.

There have been a number of contentious changes since the Tories took over from the Liberals in January, including a decision to bar media from covering the repatriation of four soldiers killed last month in Afghanistan.

In March, reporters on Parliament Hill claimed Harper was limiting their access to him and his cabinet by keeping the date and time of cabinet meetings secret.

Instead of giving reporters a chance to scrum ministers as they leave, members of cabinet can now slip away unnoticed.

"Ministers, MPs, staff, bureaucrats - I've never seen anything like this fear of speaking to the media," said panel member Don Martin, a columnist for the National Post and the Calgary Herald.

"If Stephen Harper wins a majority government, what we have now may well be regarded as the golden age of media relations in Ottawa." Keith Boag, CBC-TV's chief political correspondent, said the party - through its various incarnations - has learned from past experiences not to speak too freely.

"Standing on the threshold of a majority government in the next election, it doesn't want to screw things up," he said. "Whether I like it or not, I have to concede that it is rational behaviour."

It remains to be seen whether the government and the media will move beyond first-date jitters and eventually engage in a courtship of mutual understanding.

In the meantime, Buckler isn't apologizing to the media for any negative first impressions.

"There are several process decisions which have been made which I know cause some concern," said Buckler. "Suffice to say, there is a difference between good reasoning and reasoning that you don't like, and I think that's where . . . we don't see eye to eye."