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When it comes to parenting, are rewards effective?

Families often find themselves stressed by legal problems as well as health problems when a child is hospitalized.
Families often find themselves stressed by legal problems as well as health problems when a child is hospitalized.

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Date: Tuesday Dec. 8, 2009 3:35 PM ET

LAS VEGAS — My daughter came home from school today with another prize she earned from the treasure chest.

Her behaviour was in the "green" zone all week, which meant she earned a trip to the prize box. Kids who end up in "red" don't get a reward.

At the dentist, she gets another prize for not having cavities. At church, she gets a prize each week if she recites her Bible verse. She also earns points that she can redeem for larger toys.

Sure seems like a lot of prizes going around.

In school, I expect my child to behave well. I would be surprised if my normally compliant child all of a sudden was relegated to the red zone. And I can't help but wonder why my child needs a prize for memorizing a Bible verse.

So, do rewards for kids really work?

Alfie Kohn, author of "Punished by Rewards: The Trouble with Gold Stars, Incentive Plans, A's, Praise, and Other Bribes," said rewards only produce temporary compliance. They never help kids become more effective or enthusiastic learners or decent people.

Kohn said kids who are led to focus on grades -- the reward of an A -- tend to think less deeply, prefer easier tasks and find learning less interesting when compared to kids in classrooms where grades are absent. He said studies also show that children who are frequently rewarded or praised tend to be somewhat less generous and caring then their peers.

"The bottom line is that dangling incentives in front of children is a way of doing things to them. It's a form of sugar-coated control. In the long run, people react badly to being controlled, even if they like the goody itself."

Of course, most critics haven't tried to control a room full of children.

Lisa Thompson, a third-grade teacher in Houston, does a money system in her classroom. Each student is assigned a job for the week such as passing out papers, and is paid classroom dollars on Friday. At the end of the month, they can spend their money on a prize.

If students break a rule or do not turn in homework, they pay Thompson $5 from their bank.

"It really helps them with responsibility and behaviour. They do not want to lose money. After the first auction, I very rarely have a student not do their homework," Thompson said.

"I think that rewards can be good, but we want to teach our students to be responsible without expecting something in return. Teaching the importance of commitment, respect for others and integrity is key," she added. "Classroom management can be the most challenging part of teaching."

Patricia Martin, a Broken Arrow, Okla., mother to six-year-old Trent, said her son's kindergarten teacher does not use a reward system for good behaviour. Instead, she uses a verbal positive reinforcement system to drive the correct behaviour.

"There are days if a few of the kids are too loud or out of control, she makes the entire class put their heads down. Trent isn't a fan of group punishment, but he does tell the other kids to stop doing things so he doesn't have to put his head down," she said.

At home, Martin and her husband used a reward system for chores. But when they noticed their son calculating how many tasks he could miss and still get the toy, they abandoned the system.

"Now, we treat things as an expectation. He's expected to take his clothes to his room and put them in the basket."

They do still use a reward system for various things like mastering his letter sounds, which has proven to motivate her son.

Kohn said the alternative to all the rewards is to work with kids to solve problems. Adults have to bring children in on the process of thinking about what it makes sense to do and why.

"Kids learn to make good decisions by making decisions, not by following directions," he said.

Meanwhile, I just got a note from my daughter's school asking parents to donate prizes to the treasure box. The supply is getting low.

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