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7 greatest 'Simpsons' episodes (and six great oneliners)
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Darren O'Donoghue
Date: Tue. Oct. 9 2007 2:17 PM ET
Well, after 18 years and over hundreds upon hundreds of episodes, "The Simpsons movie" is finally hitting the big screen. As a dedicated fan since its earliest beginnings as a small widget on the Tracy Ullman show way back in the late '80s, I've battled with myself (and often others) as to which are the "BESTest" episodes of all time.
Sure, my attentions have been diverted in recent years by the increasingly funnier fare of the Griffins on "Family Guy," but when any one of the following episodes pops up on the dial during a lazy afternoon tube surf, it's pretty much a foregone conclusion that my next 20 minutes are a complete write off.
Here the episodes that I think are the seven "Simpsons" for the ages ...
_________
7. Cape Feare (aired 1993)
The plot: Sideshow Bob is released from prison and he's bent on getting revenge on Bart. When Sideshow begins to send the indomitable tike intimidating letters, even threatening him with a machete, the family enters the protection program under the assumed name of the Thompsons and moves to Terror Lake.
Why it's one of the greats: Bart is saved by, of all things, the H.M.S. Pinafore. Literate and intelligent cultural reverence and recurring character development are a testament to the series' brilliance. Plus, a man hits himself in the face with a garden rake nine times. Sweet.
_________
6. Homer vs. the 18th Amendment (aired 1997)
The plot: When Bart gets drunk on St. Paddy's the Springfield government reinstates prohibition. Chief Wiggum then proves a failure at enforcement and so he's shoved aside by untouchable Rex Banner. Meanwhile, Homer becomes a rumrunner, dubbing himself "The Beer Baron."
Why it's one of the greats: Parodying fundamentalism is a "Simpsons" pastime, and this episode leaves no hypocritical righteousness unscathed. Father and under-aged son bonding in the beer biz is every child's dream.
_________
5. Homer and Apu (1994)
The plot: A hidden camera sting probing questionable food practices at the Kwik-E-Mart results in Apu receiving his walking papers. Of course, he walks right to the Simpsons to enlist Homer in a soul searching mission to India that will help reclaim the poor chap's job.
Why it's one of the greats: The moonlit serenade that poor Mr. Nahasapeemapetilon belts from the roof of the Simpsons' shack brings, without fail, a tear to my hardened eye. While we hate it "when people lie to us through song," we all need Apu and we all need the Kwik-E-Mart.
_________
4. Homerpalooza (aired 1996)
The plot: When Bart calls out Homer for his love of 70's stadium rock, the old man sets out to prove he's still hip. To show he's got his finger on the pulse Homer takes the kids to the traveling music fest, know as Hullabalooza. Needless to say, he sets off a riot and takes a cannonball to his doughy gut.
Why it's one of the greats: In this caustic skewering of "music, and advertisement, and youth-oriented product positioning" we're served cameos from the zeitgeist of the day, including Cypress Hill, Smashing Pumpkins and Sonic Youth.
_________
3. Rosebud (aired 1993)
The plot: On his birthday Mr. Burns dreams of his Bobo, a long lost stuffed toy from his youth, which, as it turns out is, is in the possession of one Maggie Simpson. Smithers, desperate to please his life's passion, makes it his mission to return said stuftie to its original owner.
Why it's one of the greats: This ode to the hallowed Orson Welles film "Citizen Kane" is jammed with references to everything sacred in American pop culture, from "Planet of the Apes" to the Ramones - plus Smithers fantasizes about a nude Burns jumping out of a birthday cake singing." I shudder, but it cracks me up every single time we see that spindly torso of the "full Monty" Burns.
_________
2. Marge versus the Monorail (aired 1993)
The plot: A slick huckster woos the townsfolk with a melodious song-and-dance routine, convincing them they need to buy a monorail with a questionable safety record. Homer, of course, volunteers to become conductor. Marge is the sole voice of reason.
Why it's one of the greats: Still relevant today, this tribute to the classic film the "Music Man" was penned by Conan O'Brien. It puts the entire town's lack of cognitive reason out there for all to see, and in doing so showcases our own inability to often question the obvious.
_________
1. Last Exit to Springfield (aired 1993)
The plot: When Burns cuts the Dental Plan from the power plant's union contract, Homer takes up the torch and incites a strike when he discovers he now has to pay for Lisa's new braces.
Why it's one of the greats: Dubbed the greatest of the entire series by pop culture authorities Entertainment Weekly in 2003. The hallowed publication called it "virtually flawless, the product of a series at the height of its creative powers -- when the satire was savage and relevant." Who are we to disagree?
_________
Our six favourite one-liners (and who said them)
- "Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?" - Homer J.
- "You did it, Nibbles. Now, chew through my ball sack." - Principle Skinner (stuck inside a burlap ball bag, talking to a hamster)
- "Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems" - Homer J.
- "If you don't watch the violence, you'll never get desensitized to it" - Bart
- "But the ball ... his groin, it works on so many levels" - Homer J. after screening Hans Moleman's entry to the Springfield Film Festival.
- "My cat's breath smells like cat food." - Ralph Wiggum
Agree, disagree? Tell us which ones are your faves and why?
_________
The Simpsons can be seen every night at 9 p.m. and 12:30 a.m. ET/PT on The Comedy Network.
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Add New Comment ( )
cherwin
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" SAX XA MA PHONE !!!"
cherwin
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and homer says " U - R GAY " and he laughs
man classic line.
Goats
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Homer: "No TV, No Beer makes Homer go... something something...?"
Comment: "Crazy?"
Homer: "Don't mind if I do!"
ILLBILL
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The one when Lisa Helps MR. Burns get his fortune back
Homer: see that boy how come your not making any business deals
Bart I'll do it this afternoon
The other lines comes from the whacking day episode.
When Lisa is talking about how she hates whacking day.
Homer: remeber the time daddy hit the referee with whisky bottle
Lisa: yeah(in a whiney voice)
Homer: remember that honey
Lastly the one when Bleeding gums murphy dies
Homer: remember when your cat snowball died
Lisa: yeah
Homer: Well we'll just have to go done to the pund and buy a new Jazz man
Lisa: aww dad
Dunmore Dave
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Lisa, if you don't like your job, you don't quit. You just go in there everyday and do a half-assed job. - Homer J. Simpson
"Save me Jeebus!" - Homer J. Simpson
sylvanfeather
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And one of the quotes I use all the time:
Bart: "Stan Lee came back?"
Comic Book Guy: "Stan Lee never left."
steve
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or
Otto" Bart, as the only adult here I feel I should say something"
Bart" what Ottoman?"
Otto" COOL!"
Larry Lead Foot
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Lovejoy: ...or misc.
Apu: HINDU...there are 700 million of us!
Lovejoy: AWWW, that's super!
HOMIE THE CLOWN:
The whole thing!
CARTRIDGE FAMILY:
When Homer is sitting in the yard waiting for his gun, and all the things he wants to shoot go past...set to Tom Petty's THE WAITING
jts84
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"So, you think you're better then the rest of us, well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe. So butter your bacon"
"Bacon up that Sausage Boy" Homer J.
Derek Johnson
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Derek
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classic...
Roger C
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Derrick E
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"C'mon Homer. Let's do it. Let's call Room Service!" - Mindy Simmons
&
"Oh, we're going to do it aren't we?" - Homer Simpson
in the episode: 'The Last Temptation of Homer' when he and Mindy are on a Company trip
Brian
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George Nick
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DannyC
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mr. burns puts homer's brain on - "look at me, I'm Davy Crockett, haha."
burns reading newspaper - "ah Ziggy, will you ever win?"
sugar episode - beekeeper #1 "it's quite here today"
#2 (dramatically) - yes, a little too quite if you know what i mean"
#1 - I'm afraid i don't
#2 - you see, no noise means no bees
#1 - oh look there's 1 now
#2 - to the bee mobile!
#1 - you mean your Chevy?
#2 - yes
any homer/brain moments - especially peanut & money line that was said already
chili pepper episode hilarious - the sound of homer's belly after he eats all the hot peppers gets me in tears, then he says "ohhh, i don't feel so good"
Char
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Janett
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Tammy
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eLewis
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Tutter
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Marge: "We've even got grounds-keeper Willy teaching French...."
Willy: "Bonjurrrrrrre ya'cheese eat'n surrender monkeys!"
Buck
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Bart: Obnoxious fad?
Homer: Aw, don't worry, son. You know, they said the same thing about Urkel--that little snot boy! I'd like to smash that kid!
Best moment ever - when Maggie is deemed to be a genius, and Simon Cowell is asking Maggie questions he says.. " Even Dolphins know this one - how many people in your family?" Homer says " I knew that one" then he makes dolphin sounds....!!
Craig
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said
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Total Classic
Will
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Bart: What’s a muppet?
Homer: Well, it’s not quite a mop, it’s not quite a puppet, but man… (laughing). So to answer your question: I don’t know.
DougO
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Oh Lisa. You're trying to tell me that bacon, ham and pork chops come from the same "magical animal."
Homer
Jeff
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'Marge, put a pot of coffee on, drink it, and start making burgers, we're pulling an all-nighter.
Grace
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Also good episodes:
"RANCHO RELAXO" where Marge loses it on the freeway and goes to rancho relaxo---great because bart & Lisa go to stay with Patty & Selma.
"CANNERRO" where Marge buys a giant SUV--the part at the end--that's an advertisement for Cannerro! And when Krusty says," They drove a dump truck of money up to my house!"
"Bart goes to France"
"Air Force Day" where Millhouse sits in the jet.
"Laddy episode" at the end where Chief Wiggum confiscates the grass and turns on the Bob Marley music.
grace preus
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I like the episodes:
Krusty & his Rabbi Dad
Marge alters chanel suit
for country club
line I like: God, I promise to start giving the poor, food they like
(not just lima beans )
something close to that!
Jenn M
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"I'm happy and angry!"
and
"I bent my Wookie!"
CMAS
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and the episode where homer screams for 10 minutes straight always has me laughing hysterically on the floor.
wdc24601
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Bart: "What's a Muppet?"
Homer: "Well, it's not quite a mop, it's not quite a puppet, but man... (laughing). So to answer your question: I don’t know”
Kelly
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said
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Homer singing in the tub in one of the Halloween shows
Or, when Bart smashes Homer in the back with a chair, while he's in the tub..
"OWWWW, OWWWW, ow! What the hell is wroung with you?!?!?!?!?!"
Love the Simpsons!!
Chad Fraser
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Homer holding the pig upside to the ceiling while singing in the funniest Homer voice ever: "Spider-pig, spider-pig, does what ever a spider-pig does."
Homer holding the pig in his arms like a baby and blowing on his belly and says in the funniest Homer voice ever: "ohhh eee's good pig."
Even if the top seven ep's were picked at random I would have expected better ones than that.
Old Skool
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1.Bart gets hit by a car
2.Homer gets hair
3.Bart works for fat tony and becomes a "made" man
Chad Fraser
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Apu on the stand: "You are wearing a red & white stripped tie with a half-windsor knot."
Lionel Hutz (undoing and removing his tie): "I have some news that will shock and discredit you...I'm not wearing a tie at all."
Oh yeah, anyone ever hear of Professor Frink?
Jerry
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Homer: Doh
Marge: A Deer
Lisa : A Female Deer
from the stampy episode
Aaron Runnalls
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reply: "No No! Dig Up you idiots!" - Wiggum
2. Moe's Lie detector interview
"I don't deserve this kind of treatment" *BEEP*
3. How could we forget Bart reviewing Lisa's rejection of Ralph on the Krusty Show - "Hey Lisa, you can actually pinpoint the moment his heart rips in half"
4. "Give him the Breathalyzer" - Barney
5. "Get me off of this stinking rock!!!" - Homer
It goes on and on.
Greg
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Moe the bartender.
Ken
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Homer: "Ah TV. Teacher...mother... secret lover."
Sideshow Bob: " You want the Truth? You can't hande the truth!. No truth-handlers, you!! I deride your truth-handling abilities!"
Sideshow Bob: "No child has ever taken on the Republican Party and lived to tell,Bart"
TryoMCoure:"You might remember me from such self-help videos as: "Smoke Yourself Thin" and Get Confident,Stupid!"
Burns to Homer: "Your brighter than you look...or sound...or our best testing indicates."
Jason Guy
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"No TV and beer make Homer, something, something."
"Go crazy??"
"DON'T MIND IF I DO!!!"
Wes
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"Me fail English, that's unpossible" Ralph Wiggum
KrisK
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My fav: Bart works for the mob and he's calling out race horse names
LOL "Eat my shorts in the third!!!"
InsideR();
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Shawn
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The snowstorm episode when the school gets snowed in, and Marge & Homer see it on the news? Marge: "Oh, no - the kids are trapped in the school. How are they going to get home?!?" Homer (shrugging): "I dunno - internet?"
OR
when Homer throws a surprise party for Marge and invites everyone except Flanders, whom he tricks into leaving the neighbourhood by sending him a note that says, "Dude, Meet me in Montana. xxoo Jesus H. (Christ)" and Flanders is on a bus yelling, "I'm coming as fast as I can, Lord" That is surely the funniest thing ever to be said on the show.
clogan
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My favs:
Grampa: That's it, I'm going to use the outhouse.
Lisa: We don't have an outhouse.
Homer:Ahhh! My toolshed!!
(Homer is kicked out of the house by Marge; Lisa brings him some pudding and sage advice)
Homer: All right, Brain, it's all up to you. If you don't think of what
it is, we'll lose Marge forever.
Brain: Eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding eat the pudding
The Linguo episode was another great one
Fina
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....Wheeeeee"
Hank Scorpio
Stonecutters
Bart becomes a bartender for the mob
(ends with a McGiver-like scene of Principal Skinner's escape)
Classics!
Bryce Robinson
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Homer: New Glasses?
Marge: I think we need to have a talk with him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
R
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Grandpa: "I hope so."
Love Muffin Lounge
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G. Martin
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Bryan I
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"Jimmy, I liked your hustle...that's why it was so hard to cut you"
Classic
PXB138
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colombo55
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Funniest scene ever!
At the end when Homer is roliing around on the floor. WOOO WOOOWOOOWOOOWOOOWOOWOOOWOOWOOOWOOO!!! And mr Burns says: Smithers, I dont think he was the calculating mastermind I thought he was!
Or something like that.
Absolutely histerical.
said
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Homer: "I came out of the elephant's MOUTH, right?"
funstuff
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said
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From the 'behind the laughter' fox special episode:
Homer: "the fame was like a drug... but what was even more like a drug were the drugs"
From when santa's little helper is in the ventilation system in the school:
Willie: "there ain't 'narry an animal alive that can out run a greased Scottsmen..."
Lola
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said
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"Condo-m...I'd sure like to live in one of those"
Nancy
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said
0
Halloween special where Homer is being attacked by the Krusty Doll
Hatrock
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said
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"I'm wizzin' with the door open ... and I love it!"
[Grabs Johnny Calhoun record and reads cover on phone to radio station] "THIS THINGS I BELIEVE"
Radio: "Should we give it to him? ... Congratulations!"
Homer: "Woo hoo!"
[Looking at a penny on the floor] "Could this be the best day of my life?" [Images of Homer getting married to marge then a fallen over beer truck with beer spewing out and Homer dancing around it] "Looks like we have a winner!"
[At Moe's] "Can't come into work today. Religious holiday. The uh ... the Feast of Maximum Occupancy."
[about God] "Smells great and a class act all around!"
#2 Stonecutters
"Don't over do this..."
#3 Scorpio
[Looking at Tom Landry hat in window] "Aw.. Only guys like me can afford to wear a hat like that. .... WAIT!... I'm guys like me!"
Lingwo
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0
Jason
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BM
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said
0
Bart - "If there's a Doggie Heaven, there must be a Doggie Hell. Who is in there?"
Homer - "Hitler's dog and one of the Lassies."
Max Power
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said
0
Jasper: "Are they talking about the bordello?"
Grandpa: "No! The burlesque house. So just keep your mouth shut."
I didn't understand it as a kid but i love that line now.
Robby H
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0
Rocket
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said
0
Smithers: I think women and seamen don't mix.
HA!
Jason Dietrich
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said
0
Craig
0
said
0
Mrs. Skinner - Seymore's mother at teh comic book convention when he was looking for edna crabapple and wearing a catwoman suit.
Tom
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said
0
Excellent....
Alexandra
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said
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Bart's excuse for cutting class: OWWWWWEEE my ovaries!
Cheif Wigham: Take em away toys! or 1-2-3 Fake Street, GOT IT!
Lisa: I AM THE LIZARD QUEEN! Can't talk....coming down
Frank
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Favourite lines - comic book guy while eating marshmallow Peeps "Oh, if only real chicks went down this easy", Principal Skinner's mother to him in his Catwoman suit "you look like a Malaysian transexual" and in the Gay episode after John Waters saves the men from a reindeer attack: Homer: "It's a miracle"
John Waters "No. ultrasuede is a miracle. This is just good timing"
Brent
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said
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Homer, Homer Simpson, he's the greatest guy in history...From the town of Springfield, he's about to hit a chestnut tree
John Kydd
0
said
0
jonas.fischer@gmail.com
0
said
0
Jack O.
0
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The Ramones playing at Burns birthday Party.
Ramones - Happy birthday you old b@stard.
Burns - Have the Rolling Stones killed.
Smithers - But there not the R (at this point cut off by Burns)
Burns - DO AS I SAY.
Smithers - Yes sir.
Homer - If you don't behave yourself we will put you in a home.
Grandpa - You did put me in a home.
Homer - Then we will put you in a home we saw on 60 minuets.
Grandpa - I'll be good.
Marge questioning Lionel Hutz qualifications.
Lionel - I watched McGyver once. The sound was off, but I caught the gyst of it.
One of the funniest episodes, Dr Nick performing heart surgery on Homer.
Dr Nick - The red things connected to my wrist watch---oops.
Dr Nick - Thanks little girl (to Lisa)
Smithers - You payed 3 dollars in tax last year.
Burns - We are getting ripped off.
I think there are just to many good ones to list them all.
Jim
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said
0
Kris
0
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Tommy Tucker
0
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***
Ken Brockman: (seeing magnified ants on TV monitor) I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords.
***
Homer: Hey, Moe, going anywhere for holidays?
Moe: Yeah, been planning this trip for 10 years. Going to Easter Island.
Homer: Oh yeah, the place with the big stone heads.
Moe: The what where?
C. Dunn
0
said
0
Colin
0
said
0
"But Homer he prefers the company of men"
"Phht who doesn't?"
FC
0
said
0
Classic Homie
HugJorgan
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said
0
Who keeps the metric system down?
We do
We do
Shaun C
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- " Lisa honey can you open the window...the cops have daddy's prints on file."- Homer
Best line hands down so funny.
Cheers
YM
0
said
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Too many favourite quotes, but some are:
"Lisa, stop blowing my sex, I mean stop blowing your sax", Marge while fantasizing about Jack Nicholas, or
"Mmmm, unprocessed fishsticks", Homer staring at gold fish in a pond, in the CGI short of the Treehouse of Horror series.
fcs
0
said
0
"Carefull, they're
ruffled!"
Best Clancy Wiggum line:
"Bake 'em away, toys."
cplarf
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said
0
Cheif wiggum
Best line ever, i am in the military and have actually heard a lost officer use this over the radio.
wayne
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said
0
kyle Scott
0
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" homer are you licking toads again?...I am not, not licking toads."(on the tropical island where they introduce the casino to the natives)
" Homer to Jebus....save me Jebus.." ( tropical island episode again, homer on the radio.
MagnuS
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0
"THAT'S WHEN THE C.H.U.D.'s GOT ME"
maybe the most perfect B movie reference EVER!!
Leon
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said
0
Alison
0
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My favorite Ralph quotes; "Mrs. Hoover, i glued my head to my shoulder"
"Mrs. Hoover, which one is one?"
"Principle Skinner is an old man who lives at the school"
"Lisa's a sellout! Lisa's a sellout! Lisa, what's a sellout?"
"abcdefg...how i wonder what you are"
"bushes are nice cause they don't have prickers. unless they do, this one did, ouch"
"he's gunna smell like hotdogs"
"now i can't stand in line anymore"
"i'm a brick"
"my cats breathe smells like catfood"
"dying tickles"
"i'm happy and angry"
the Simpsons rule
Jim
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said
0
Bart to the bears who took care of Maggie, as he leaves their cave.
Matt H.
0
said
0
Bethany Belton
0
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0
#2) Best....."oh...why do I have to always start my diet on pork-chop night"......
said
0
Simspon, Homer Simpson
He's the greatest guy in history
From the town of Springfield,
He's about to hit a
chestnut tree...
DT
0
said
0
The one Ralph line that is missing is in the episode where Lisa gets her horse, one kid remarks "look her tame that horse" and Ralph, in a voice that is not Ralph's replys "...yes, but who could ever tame her..."
DaveC
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"Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The moral is: never try."
And how could we forget Barney "Shouldn't you keep the fire extinguishers?"
Moe "Too many bad memories."
And for favorite episodes, the Plow King is right up there.
Craig W
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Dr. Nick - "The coroner? I'm so sick of those guys!"
and
Homer - "First you didn't want me to get the horse, now you want me to take it back. make up your mind!"
and of course Homer singing to the tune of Mandy - "Oh, Margy, you came and found me a turkey, on my vacation away from worky"
tricia
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said
0
JD
0
said
0
Kid: There's no Batman for my Batmobile.
Guy: *in a jolly mood* Don't worry, the Thing fits in there. *forcefully puts the Thing in the Batmobile destroying the vehicle*
Brian
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said
0
Jay
0
said
0
CHODER
Brian
0
said
0
Neil
0
said
0
Stad
0
said
0
Favorite Simpsons
1. Kusty Comeback Special
Silly to even think any episode could touch this.
2. Bart vs Australia
3. X-Files Ep
Paul
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said
0
--Homer
Frank
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said
0
Ricardo Moore
0
said
0
JC
0
said
0
Lisa: "The Chinese use the same word for Crisis and Opportunity"
Homer: "You mean Crisotunity?"
Lauren H.
0
said
0
said
0
JG
0
said
0
Abe: "time to give Honest Abe another term in the oval office"
adam haugh
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said
0
"Who made Steve Guttenberg a star? We do, We do"
Also, same episode:
"What do you call this one?"
"The paddling of the swollen ass!"
Janet Preus
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said
0
"Mr.Plow"
"Lurlene the country singer"
"Apu & Valentine's day"
"Homer eats Japanese poison fish"
"Marges fear of flying"
"Principal Skinner & Patty dating"
"Three eyed BLINKY fish"
"Homer's rich brother"
AFB
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0
Tiffany
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"My cat's name is Mittens."
"My cat's breath smells like cat food."
"I bent my Wookie."
"Bees are on the what now?"
and my favourite:
"In America, first you get the sugar, then you get the power, then...you get the women" as Homer is guarding his mound of sugar.
And another great line: "The bee bit my bottom! And now my bottom's big!"
Joebuda
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said
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In the Halloween Ep with the Golum there are a few - Bart to the Golum " Can't you read my writing I didn't say kick Homers Walls, I said Kick ... thats better"
Willie to Skinner -"You'll make better mulch than ya did a man"
Skinner" I may be bifarcated but I still have feelings"
In the Ep where Homer Joins the Army - Cletus says "This here avocado just gave me a wedding ring"
In the Homer smoke weed ep - "Why do the call them fingers I've never seen them fing...Oh there they go.
Anyways I could think of a ton more but those are the ones that came to mind.
Greg
0
said
0
Jenn
0
said
0
Cam
0
said
0
Francesco Franco
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pure greatness...
Krusty is wearing a shirt which reads
"I got smashed at Wimbledon"
Also... Krusty Gets Kancelled (with Gabbo and Johnny Carson)
Jeff
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-"I'm so hungry, I could eat at Arby's"
-"Crab Juice or Mountain Dew"
-"Eww, I'll have the Crab Juice"
"What do you call it when a man is gay for a woman?"
Chris L
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Mike
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Best Quote (Homer the Vigilante):
Kent Brockman: Mr Simpson how do you respond to the charge that petty vandalism such as graffiti is down 80% while heavy sack beatings are up a shocking 900% ?
Homer: Aww people can come with statistics to prove anything Kent...14% of all people know that
Nuno
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R.I.P. Phil Hartman
Joe
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C-lo
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I was in a pornography store. I was buying pornography."
-Homer
Fady A.
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Homer: Everytime I learn something new, something old comes out of my brain. Remember the time I took that home wine-making course and I forgot how to drive.
Marge: That's because you were drunk.
Paul H
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Also
form Homer's hunger strike...
"Dancin away my hunmgers pains...moving my feet so my stomach don't hurt...I'm kinda like Jesus,but not in a sacreligious way!"
otherwise the list is dead on!!
Simpsons #1 Fan
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The lemon tree episode when Springfield Milhouse and Shelbyville Milhouse meet and say, "So this is what it sounds like...when doves cry".
On the father/son rafting trip and Homer, Bart and the Flanders' are adrift and toss their last cheese doodle into the ocean and Ned says, "God speed little doodle".
Chris L.
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"Have you ever seen a man say goodbye to a shoe?" - Scorpio ... I mean, come on - art.
Gord
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Kal
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"The fingers you've attempted to dial with are too fat...to obtain a special dialing wand, please mash the keypad with your hand..."
So funny...also:
"Praaayy fooor MoooJooo!"
Jim G.
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MagnuS
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- My nob tastes funny!
- I found a moon rock in my nose
- so, do you like stuff?
- I once picked my nose till it bleeded
- what's a battle?
- go banana!
- Hi supernintendo Chalmers
- me fail english, that unpossible!
- why do people run from me (as he's peeing his pants)
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH oh my!
Lorne
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3. When Homer gains weight so he can go on disability "I heard his butt has its own Congressman" Jimbo
2. When Bart gets rid of Santa's little helper. "Uhh! I almost had him eating dogfood" Homer
1. When Bart dates Reverend Lovejoy's daughter- this has the most classic one-liners, such as the Scotchtoberfest fiasco.
"Ya yused me Skinner, ya yuuused me!
Best line: "I bent my wookie" Ralph
Mike N
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Bart: Homer are you licking toads??
Homer: I'm not not licking toads.
Mike
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Grandpa: Oh , this is gonna be sweet!
My Favourite part in all the Simpsons is the "Raiders of the Lost Arc" sequence.. with Bart stealing Homers change jar.. that's pure classic..
h**p://youtube.com/watch?v=rdu4TBf091Yhttp://youtube.com/watch?v=rdu4TBf091Y
Jerry
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my favourite line:
Carmen Electra: "Homer my eyes are up here."
Homer, while staring at her chest: "I've made my decision and I'm sticking to it."
DS
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Gary P
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Homer Simpson
Julius
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Bubba64
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Cletus: "Excuse me, but this here avocado just gave me a wedding ring!"
Another classic is from the episode where Bart builds a soap-box racer:
Bart: "Frankly Homer, I liked your half-assed approach to fatherhood better"
Homer: "But I'm using my whole ass!"
DPC
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Best song and dance number: Mr. Burns "See my Vest" in the episode where Santa's little helper becomes a father.
Halloween episodes are all good--but I'll never forget the magic words to put the zombies back into their graves: Magnum, Trojan, Ramses, Sheik!
Final brilliant moment: Comic Book guy fantasizing about Lt. Uhura, Catwoman and Agent 99!
Ced
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"and the elephant that couldn't stop laughing was put to death" Kent Brockman
"Number 2: Why did you think a big balloon would stop people?
Scientist: Shut up! That's why!" The Computer wore Menace Shoes
Best Episodes missing : Homer in Space, The computer (see above, Flaming Moes, Fear of Flying, among others...
Brian
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SPS
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Mr. Burns: "Schindler and I are like peas in a pod. We're both industrialists. We both made shells for the Nazis. But mine worked, damn it!"
Smithers: "I'm afraid we have a bad image, sir... Market research shows people see you as something of an ogre..."
Burns: "I ought to club them and eat their bones..."
Burns: Who is that lavatory linksman, Smithers?
Smithers: Homer Simpson, sir. One of the fork and spoon operators from sector 7-G.
Burns: Well, he's certainly got a loose waggle. Perhaps I've finally found a golfer worthy of a match with Monty Burns, eh?
Smithers: His waggle is no match for yours, sir. I've never seen you lose a game. Except for that one in '74 when you let Richard Nixon win. That was very kind of you, sir.
Burns: Oh, he just looked so forlorn, Smithers, with his [imitating Nixon] "Oh, I can't go to prison, Monty. They'll eat me alive!" [Smithers laughs] I wonder if this Homer Nixon is any relation?
Smithers: Unlikely, sir. They spell and pronounce their names differently.
Burns: Bah. Schedule a game and I'll ask him myself.
Russel
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best line
"my eyes the goggles do nothing"
as the character is in a river of acid
Anonymous
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Best episode: the one with Homer living with the gay couple... priceless
Mike B.
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My favorite quote was on the letter Homer wrote to Flanders to keep him away. "Ned, meet me in Idaho(?)
Signed
Jesus (HChrist)
Solange
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Also, the major league baseball one where Bart goes on Focusin (Ritalin) and Principal Skinner shows Marge the 3-D cone of ignorance around Bart's seat in the classroom.
The oldies rock.
Chris
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7.Gay episode(hilarious)
6.Hank Scorpio
5.Simpsons in brazil
4.Simpsons in Canada
.................What Am i saying they are all Great
Julia
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Julia
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Duffman: "Duffman is thrusting in the direction of the problem. OH YEAH!"
Mr. Burns: "Smithers, I think I'll donate a million dollars to the children's hospital..... when pigs fly!"
*pig flies past the window*
*Cletus climbs up a telephone poll to return some shoes he found there.*
Cletus: "Hey, I can call my Maw from up here. HEY MAW! GET OFF THE DANG ROOF!"
simpsons fan
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1) Homer thinks Bart is Gay
2) President Bush vs. Homer Simpson
3) The Monorail Episode
4) Bart's Comet
5) Lisa the Vegetarian
6) Homer goes to College
7) Krusty's comeback special
other great episodes include:
1) Flaming Moe's
2) Bat Goes on Drugs
3) Homer Smokes Weed
4) Homer's Brother Herb Episodes
5) Simpson's move to cypress creek
6) Homer goes on fat disability
7) Who shot Mr. Burns
8) Marge becomes a Cop
9) All the Halloween specials
10) The hurricane episode
and the list goes on
Liz
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Lisa meets up again with Bleeding gums Murphy again and he dies.
- "Will just go down to the pound and get you a new jazz man"
-" Do you follow my husband around selling hotdogs?"..."Lady he's putting my kids through college"
Best episode ever!
Antonio
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"It's lonelier in here than in a Scottish pay toilet."
Episode where Rodney Dangerfield plays Mr. Burns long lost son Larry.
Mike
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Bart: Wow Dad, you took a baptismal for me!
G.W.
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Moe answers "CARHOLE!!"
Another episode where Homer is working long hours away from home, so Marge puts the computer monitor at the head of the table at mealtime, and Homer joins them online. When it is bedtime, Homer tells Bart that he is not too old to give his monitor a kiss. When Bart embraces the monitor, Homer yells "That's a printer port, not a fingerhole!".
Best episode missing from the list, when Homer joins the Stonecutters.
Macdonsh
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Troy
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Homer "He Likes Peanuts"
Lori
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"She's touching me in my special area" - Ralph when Marge touches his shoulder to reassure him
and (possibly) my all-time favorite Simpsons quote/sequence:
Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!
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Bart or Lisa: "Dad! you just shot the zombie Flanders!"
Homer: "Flanders was a zombie?"
I laugh everytime I even think about that one.
Harry K
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Mario
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From the episode when the Germans buy the power plant.
Matt
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Priceless
Jody
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- When the plane that is carrying Homer to do missionary work is taking off, he cries:
"Save me, Jebus!........save meeeeeeeeee."
When Homer is attempting to use a shortwave radio, the family hears Homer saying:
"Jebus, where are you? Homer to Jebus!"
Darren
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"Okay brain, I don't like you and you don't like me but lets do this thing so I can get back to killing you slowly with beer."
Homer
Burns asks Smithers if he agrees Marge would make a fine addition to his sailing crew to hired to find "King Homer"
Smithers: "I don't think women and seamen mix, sir."
Burns: "We know what you think!"
Dean
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Harry K.
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Moe coming in: Homer my costumers are sobering up and they ain't gonna stikk around for the ambience. You gotta get me more beer.
Homer. Sorry I'm all out. Oh how about some turpentine? or caulk? delicious caulk.
Why it's funny: Ummm... "delicious caulk" anyone. Say it out loud. Now that's funny!
Mike LePage
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Here is why it should be:
Homer: Hey Hank..is there any sugar around here?
Hank Scorpio: Sugar? Sure [digs in pockets, comes out with a handful of sugar]. There you go. Sorry it's not in packages. Do you need some cream?
Homer: I....uh....no.
As Lionel Hutz would say, "I rest my case".
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"DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK DUCK"
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wT8MqN5Y4Qo
Jennifer
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"What is a wedding? Webster's dictionary defines it as pulling weeds from one's garden."
blake
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Joe Shlabotnick
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Matt
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"If I can keep Arby's down, I can keep you down!"
TR
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Line:
Ralph with an ice cream cone on his head
"I'm a unitard"
Gord M.
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Ralph Wiggums: "Eww, Daddy, this tastes like Grandma!"
Lisa: "I thought you said it tasted teribble."
Bart: "It does. But it's smooth and mild. And refreshingly addictive."
RedFox-1
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"Simpson, I need loving!"
Homer: "Oookayy... I'm gonna need beer."
61 posts and it doesn't come up. Is it just me?
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"Thank you New Springfield, for our golden showers." - Kent Brockman.
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Flindy
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Lionel Hutz was one of the best characters ever. "This is the best lawsuit since my case against the Neverending Story!"
Buddy
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If something should happen lets not get the law involved. One hand washes the other!
Captain Awesome
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Apparently you forgot this gem from it:
"And away they go!
It's Chock Full O'Drugs followed closely by Stalker, with Old Levis
fading fast!"
-- Race Announcer, "Saddlesore Galactica"
RB
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G.W.
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"Women and seamen don't mix" Waylon Smithers
and
"EVERYTHING is about JESUS, Homer" Rev. Lovejoy
sully
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Also has the best all time quote
"Break in here, you must be pretty stupid"
Homer: "Stupider like a fox"
KAP
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"even monkeys can remember 10 digits, are you stupider than a monkey?"
Len
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-"I'm going to go live with underground grandma!"
and, said at Bart's lame party:
-"Bart is my bestest boyfriend!".
And how about the announcer at a baseball game saying:
"It's going...going...and, like America's credibility on the world stage, that ball is gone!"
And in the same episode, Homer says to Marge:
"Marge, honey, we've been through more hardships than the Jews and Charlie Brown combined!"
Okay - 1 more, please. Everyone who watches knows the various signs/billboards, etc. are often the funniest things. So how about when they're walking up to the school for Lisa's band recital and there are two banners hanging in front of the school:
Top Banner reads:
"Grade (?) Band Recital tonight - SOLD OUT"
Banner below reads: "Tomorrow night - Barbra Streisand - planty of tickets still available"
LOVE this show!
Pat S.
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Followed by the little german kid running and screaming, "stop chasing me, I'm full of chocolate...
Cracks me up everytime!
Bob
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Best Quote: When Mr. Burns Cannot insert his ATM Card.
Mr. Burns: "Guide me in Smithers"
Mr. Smithers: "With Pleasure"
Jason
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"You only move twice"
Who can't say that Hank Scorpio is not the best!!
LWM
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Captain Awesome
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"Billy Corgan: "Billy Corgan, Smashing Pumpkins"
Homer: "Homer Simpson, smiling politely"
Captain Awesome
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James Earl Jones??
Im sure we would all rather listen to Wolf Blitzer recite The Raven rather than that washed up Verizon schilling has been.
Kris
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Pam
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1-"I am so smart. S-M-R-T! I mean S-M-A-R-T!"-Homer
2-"Help me Jebus"-Homer
3-"What is your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?"- Chief Wiggum
Art
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Mike McCarthy
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Captain Awesome
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"Oh, so they have internet on computers now!"
or
"I'm in no condition to drive...wait! I shouldn't listen to myself, I'm drunk"
Phil L
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Brain: "It's a deal."
Bolton
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another Ralph Wiggum line (actually it was written by Ralphie)
-- look in the tunk...i think he (Ralph) meant TRUNK
i am so smart,
i am so smart,
i am so smart,
S-M-R-T
i mean S-M-A-R-T
(Homer's song after he read his acceptance letter to Springfield University)
Anonymous
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Homer Simpson: [watching the TV with Bart] Oh, yeah, they think we're low class. Hey, Bart, come here a minute.
Bart: You come here a minute.
Homer Simpson: Oh, yeah...
Curt
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When bart's class is learning about Jebidiah Springfield
Teacher: :I've never heard the word embiggens before"
Mrs. Krebopal: "Embiggens, its a perfectly cromulate word!"
The other:
Mrs. Krebopal to class: "Who's calculator can tell me what 9*6 is?"
Milhouse: "OOh Ooh is it error!"
Skye
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My other one is
My Cats name is Mittens. LOL. Simpsons Rules.
D_Tribe
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Line: <
<
Also in that episode - when Homer tells Bart that they have to make the grease business work or "I'll have to go work on your mother's emu farm"
Another Top 7 episode should be where lisa gets her Pony.
Final Classic Simpsons line, is when Lisa has a crush on Nelson and staring out the detention room window she remarks: "he is like a riddle wrapped in an enigma, wrapped in a vest" - CLASSIC
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Ted Girard
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MagnuS
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When Homer first meets Flanders:
Flanders "Howdy, Ned Flanders is the name, but my friends call me Ned"
Homer "Flanders" and nods
"Which one is oral?" - Ralph
"Doctor says my nose wouldn't bleed as much if I kept my fingers out of it" - Ralph
Krusty the Clown College: SPEED HOLES!!
Homer in Space
Behind the scenes - classic
and so forth...
LJ
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Sorry, OJ....
Paul M.
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Hollis
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Mitz
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"Marg I just realized I am the ow in the word now"-Homer
Homer refers to Flaunders as the "God Dude"
jamie
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2. "damn you Bette Midler!!!" Krusty comeback episode
3. "Elephant Lisa, it's an elephant" Stampy episode
4. "ooo a fat sarcastic star trek fan like yourself must be a real hit with the ladies.." Sarcastic man to comic book guy.
5. "I got a movie for you, 'A fridge too far'. Homer works from home episode.
6. "shut up and eat the damn oranges.."Grandpa to hans moleman in orange eating class, homer teaches night school
Nick
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Joe
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Mike H
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1) Lisa becomes a vegetarian and
2) Burns sells the plant to the Germans (Homer goes to the land of chocolate... mmm, chocolate....)
Sherry
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When Homer opens the door to see Reverend Lovejoy, Mrs Lovejoy, and Flanders there.
oxtad
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Simpsons Fan
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Tim
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John
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andy
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Rob K
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"Mmm...engine black eggs. If we can keep these down, we'll be sitting pretty"
AChiasson
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Tim
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KJ
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Michele
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homer said and because it is funny.
Xan
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Homer: "Hello, my name is Mr. Burns, I believe you have a letter for me."
Man: "OK Mr. Burns, what's your first name"
Homer: "I don't know!"
James Maccormack
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rugby_mike
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Because it is just so funny
jp
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Paul D
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MRB
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John T.
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Don M.
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Best line ever!
André
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Help Mojo
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Paul D.
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